Stop us if you’ve heard this one before…
So a son asks his dad on his 50th wedding anniversary what the key is to a long, loving, lasting marriage. the dad says, “Simple. Don’t get divorced, stupid.”
Of course, there’s a reason they call it irreconcilable differences instead of we-could-work-it-out-but-maybe-it-would-be-easier-to-spend-a-year-getting-divorced-differences.
So what divorce advice can we learn from that old joke, “Don’t get divorced”? There’s a simple, painful lesson — too many people still view divorce as some sort of moral failure, rather than as a necessary, often healthy decision made by two consenting adults. Instead, let’s look at another joke for divorce advice inspiration, this time from divorced, middle-aged comedian Louis C.K. The comic says about his divorce:
“I love being divorced. Every year has been better than the last. By the way, I’m not saying don’t get married. If you meet somebody, fall in love and get married. Then get divorced. Because that’s the best part. Divorce is forever! It really, actually is. Marriage is for how long you can hack it. But divorce just gets stronger like a piece of oak. Nobody ever says ‘oh, my divorce is falling apart, it’s over, I can’t take it.'”
What’s the divorce advice takeaway here? Often times the key to getting through a divorce is to change your attitude. Yes, divorce is often extremely painful. But it can also be an act of creative destruction, the beginning of the next chapter of your life. But such an attitude adjustment can take time. So until then, here’s some more practical advice for you to consider:
Find the Right Counsel: The best divorce lawyer in your town might not specialize in family law cases involving complex custody disputes, and the best child custody lawyers might not be the best choice for a late-in-life divorce. Furthermore, the best divorce attorneys for men might not be the best choice for a woman. Make sure you do your research and take the time you need to find the right divorce attorney for the job.
Consider Uncontested Divorce: In divorces involving custody, more and more parents are choosing uncontested divorces, which often spare children a long, drawn out court battle and make future co-parenting easier.
Calculate Your Future Living Expenses NOW: Not only should you get a clear and accurate picture of your joint finances, you should immediately determine what your living expenses are. We don’t mean a ballpark figure, but rather exact numbers. Are you moving into an apartment? How many square foot do you need? What about car insurance, health insurance, etc?